Let Me Help
by BlackaddictReader
Summary: Momo and Toshiro are best friend but when they're at the club and toshiro acts like a jackass causing momo to leave crying and get raped. Will their friendship survive or crumble? Might sound better than sounds. rated M for 1st chapter T for the rest
1. Hurt

The music was bumping and rocking. Everyone was grinding on each other and having fun but I was disgusted. I can't believe I told toshiro I would come. All he does is mac* on other girls and ask the ones with the biggest ass to grind on him and of course he ignores me until I say I was going home.

Looking at the crowd of underage drinkers macking, grinding, and yelling out for more beer, was tiring. All I wanted to do was go home take a bath, get in my PJ's and eat a whole tub of ice cream. I chose to go and find toshiro.

So here I am in the middle of the crowd searching for my best friend,

I feel defenseless without toshiro by my side; I mean I know friends shouldn't like their friends because things could get awkward and ruin the whole thing but can you blame me

Definition of toshiro: he has those beautiful, deep orbs, of the world's most amazing blue, sorta like the ocean, blue-green eyes. Unlike his eyes that are dark but light at the same time, his hair is as white as newly fallen snow, corny I know, it sounds like it came out of a soap opera, I just don't know what else to describe it as. Sue me. His intelligence if off the chart but he refuses to go to prep collage. For he doesn't want to leave his friends behind so he puts up with all the classes that teaches things he already knows. Toshiro is also the team captain of four sports: basketball, football, baseball, and his favorite sport, soccer. All of the girls drool all over him, but he doesn't let that go to his head. Toshiro is still the same person he was 1 year ago, when I met him first day of freshmen year. Well, that is the same when he isn't acting like a hackin*man slut.

"Momo! What's happening?!" Toshiro asked when he saw me before I saw him.

"Hi Shiro-chan, I was looking for you-"

"Well you found me, what do you want," his slurred words, most of which not understandable by any other then me, interrupted.

"Well...Umm…. I kind of want to go home and since you brought me here…" I trailed off because of the glares I was receiving

"Guy's would you cool it!" toshiro protested for me.

"Listen momo." he started. I knew he would say wait like 5 minutes for me to say bye and we'll go okay. " It's a party go to keg and get a drink or two okay, stop being so infuriating" he finished coldly

I gasped and just stared at him while his 'friends' just…well stared at him also. Toshiro never did that; he never talked to me like that ever.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out

"Would you stop looking at me like a freaking retard and go already!" he yelled

"Why don't you just walk home okay?! I want to have fun, so just stop being a baby and start being independent!"

I again, I couldn't say anything I was still in shock, but I knew I wasn't going to let him diss me and get away with it. So I did the only rational thing any normal person would do

"Well you know what" I said calmly but with a glare " your right, I should be more independent but how about I get a drink for you …on me." Toshiro stared at me. He may be smashed, from the 10 or more beers' sounding him, but he knew me well enough to tell I was up to something

"What do you say toshiro?"

"Well this one is almost finish so …yea go make yourself useful and get me one…or three!!" he and his friends laughed.

Smiling I replied "my pleasure, I'll be right back." And then I went to a kid that was out of Toshiro's sight and took it ignoring his protests. I was only thinking about Toshiro's words and comments and getting madder and madder till I was seeing red. I didn't like this Toshiro; I liked the one I hang out with.

By this time I got to _him_, but he didn't see me no one did they were all laughing about something

"And, and then she slipped and ended up going all day with a wet ass!!" Toshiro barely managed to get out be for doubling over with a new round of laughter.

I quickly realized that they were talking about me, it was freshmen year last trimester and I tripped in a puddle on my butt, but the school wouldn't let me call my house to get a change of clothes, so I spent the day wearing Toshiro's sweater over my own around my waist.

My eye's started to sting, here he was…telling stories of me, making fun of me when he promised he would never ever tell anyone those things.

Shaking my head mentally, I put on a fake smile and walked up to him. Even with his face flustered from the alcohol, he still looked gorgeous but of course his attitude was the only thing that kept me from stuttering.

"Hey, I see you finished that." I mentioned, my voice sounding perky but fake. He was completely oblivious to that though, he turned his head to me with a stupid drunken smile and said

"Bout time you got here!" he got up from his chair and came to stand in front of me, a couple of feet away and continued " I was getting thirsty, but give me a kiss first".

Which caused me to freeze. Noticing, I didn't respond he smirked and dropped his head to my level.

"C'mon we all know you want to, anyway. Don't worry." He stage whispered, causing his posse to bust out laughing, but making my face heat up in anger.

"Oh really?" I asked, through my clenched teeth.

"Yeah, c'mon one kiss…your first kiss." He said, not bothering to even try and pretend to whisper. His friend stopped laughing and a guy named Ichigo stepped forward and said

"Really? Her first kiss…dude" Ichigo's eyes shifted nervously around "I think you should back off" and ended with him rubbing his neck awkwardly. All of the others just rolled their eye's at Ichigo and then looked toward Shir- uh I mean Toshiro and began to chant 'Kiss. Kiss!"

"Well if you insist," he responded his eye's glowing with superciliousness** (A/N: hehe I used a big word!! Did I use it right? Oh well back to the story)**

He turned back to me and started to lean towards me. Any other time I would have closed the gap, Any other fricking time I would have closed the gap without a second thought, but did he really think I would let him take my fist kiss while he was DRUNK!

The look in his eyes said it all 'I will kiss you and you will let me'

When he was close enough that I could feel his warmth from his face and, sadly, the smell of his breath, was when I realized that I was still holding onto the cup filled with beer.

I slowly lifted the cup; he didn't notice his eyes were on my lips.

"Toshiro" I whispered, he breath hitched.

When he spoke he voice was choppy and his breath was ragged, "what"

Still lifting the cup I was said, not bothering to whisper, " Go to hell." And then poured the cup on his head. There were a series of 'Omg! His hair!' and 'Oh burn!'

"Jackass." I said as I stepped back, my eye's beginning to blur. Then I turned around and ran, I head him yell "Momo!" but I didn't stop. I had to leave, this wasn't my Toshiro and I had no plans of staying in a room where _he _was. I bumped into people, ignored their cussing pushes and insults thrown at me, I didn't care my only goal was getting out of here.

I was in the front of the club now and I was like 20 feet away from the door when I heard a different voice call out my name.

"Momo? Momo! What's wrong?" Rukia, I wasn't a best friend with her but she was nice to me.

I looked at the door and then at Rukia, then back of me. I don't think he was following me.

I turned to Rukia and saw her face it was etched in shocked.

"What's up?" I said trying to be polite, when every fiber of my being wanted me to leave.

"You're crying? And your asking me what's up." She said bring her thumb to my cheek and then showing me it.

It was wet with my tears. I didn't even notice I was crying.

I don't want to talk about this, I really don't. So I played it off

"Oh." I started hoping my laugh didn't sound all that fake "Um my mom call and said she's in trouble I guess she broke her leg or something?"

"Oh my gosh! Is she okay?" she was sincerely worried and I hate myself for lying to her. "Uh yeah I think, I'm going home to check on her."

"Momo!" I heard once more… and it wasn't Rukia. I felt my body freeze but managed to turn around to see a head of white with stains of yellow hair coming towards me.

I let out a strangled cry. I looked at Rukia not knowing what to do.

"Go." Was all she had to say for my body to release itself from whatever consumed it with ice?

"Thanks." And I started running to the door.

"Momo! Wait" he yelled. I could hear his footsteps running but then they stopped

"Leave her alone! Don't you think you've done enough!" I heard Rukia yell at him.

I didn't hear his response because I slammed into the door and I was sent flying out. I took a deep breath of fresh air and then continued walking. There was no point for me to go to _His _car even though it had all my stuff, besides my cell phone.

I was a half a block away from the club when I suddenly felt that I wasn't alone, that I was being watched. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I started moving faster.

There was a crash that just freaked me out more, I couldn't go in a store and call my mom everything was closed.

Another crash a few feet behind me.

My fast paced walking turned into a full on run, I heard heavy footsteps after me, and I knew that something was going to happen something bad.

What I did next was so stupid!

I turned my head as I continued running and as a man in his 20's running after me. The look in his eye's sent chills from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, it made me slow down a bit, but it was long enough for him to fill the gap. I turned my head and bit on my lip, I wasn't going to scream. I somehow know that if I do it will just egg him on.

But I did let out a small yelp when I felt his hands roughly yank my bun back, I felt some hairs ripped but I still tried running.

He pulled harder and I fell back. I was off my feet now and I thought 'screw no yelling, I don't care!' and began to yell as loud as I could.

"Shut up!" he growled and my head was knocked to the side, my cheek began to sting a lot.

He shoved something to my nose and I felt my body slump in his arms, all I wanted to do was sleep. But I fought; I fought against him and the drug. I raised my hand and yanked. It flew out of his hand; he must have not expected me to do that. I threw the cloth somewhere.

"Little bitch!" he growled, I knew that if I survived this I was never going to forget his voice calling me that.

I felt his hand move from my waist up to my chest and he began to squeeze them together.

He was groping my boobs!

"Let me go!" I yelled pitifully, but he just touched harder more painfully. Two hands became one and I felt the other go up my shirt and unclip my bra.

His hands were rough against my skin; my eye's began to water again.

My mid went blank, the effects of the drug were starting. I couldn't feel my body but I could feel the pressure of his hands lips, and tongue when they moved across my body. My mother always said I had a creative mind, I was always thankful of that, but right now I hate it. Hate it more than anything.

I can picture it, I can picture my body held up against his, I can imagine his hands groping my chest, his tongue running across the back of my neck. I could imagine it all and yet I couldn't do a thing.

My tears came down harder. Time passed so slow it felt like hours but I knew that only minutes have past, I began to feel my body again.

He wasn't done, not yet.

His hands reached down to my pants and I knew what he was going to do.

"No!" I yelled finally able to feel my body. I failed me arms and legs trying to hit him.

"Oh this one's feisty, I like it," he said to himself, it made me scream louder.

"Leave me alone!" I kept yelling.

"You're beginning to annoy me" he muttered into my ear, I cringed away from his hot breath.

He turned me around in his arms so that I was facing him. His arms were digging into my skin. I couldn't help it I yelled the only name I wanted to yell for help for.

"Toshiro!"

"You know what bitch no one can help you." And he yanked down my pants. No! No! No! This can't happen no!

"Help anyone please help me…Toshiro!" I yelled once more, I struggled to loosen his grip but it didn't budge. I opened my mouth to scream again when I felt something enter my mouth, it was slimy and I knew it was his tongue. I had an urge to bit it but something told me not to do it. So I settled for screaming with his tongue in my mouth.

This…This Fucker was taking my first kiss! I raised my foot up and hit him in the shin. Hard. He didn't let go but it was enough to loosen his grip so I could get out of it. I yanked myself out of his arms and started running, which let me tell you people is very hard to do when your pants are around your ankles, but I managed to get a couple of feet away feet away before the dude tackled me down. My head hit the pavement with a sick sounding _crack!_ It left me breathless.

"You're going to pay for that." He growled and he reached his hand down to the waistline of my underwear and ripped them down the same time I yelled, "No!"

He jumped to his knees and moved his body to sit on my stomach so I couldn't move.

"Where's your Toshiro now? " he said in a cold voice as he started working on his belt buckle. I didn't answer, I didn't even look at him, it was useless. My eye's where stinging from the tears I was holding back but as I started thing about what he was planning to do, some leaked out.

I heard his zipper go down and my body tensed at the sound.

I knew he was going to rape me from the beginning but now that it was seconds away from actually happening I realized that I was in deep shit.

My breath came in short gasps I started wiggling my body try and get him off, if anything it made him that more turned on, because he moaned loudly.

"I'm going to have fun with this one." He whispered to himself, moving up just enough for him to start inching his pants off, but I was close enough to hear him.

Fear struck through me bigger than before.

He had done this before!

While I was mulling over this, he took advantage of that and lifted up even more to pull down his pants, which where very soon followed by his boxers.

I shut my eyes tightly and I felt the tear run down my face, a sob threatened to come out of my mouth.

Eyes still closed I felt him slither his body down and a whimper passed through my lips.

His fingers calloused and cold, scraping roughly against my skin started trailing down from my belly button to my underwear elastic strap. His other hand continued moving further down and I cringed away from the feel.

I cried out when his still moving hand made contact with my…um area, pressing against it hard.

"Yeah you bitch you like that don't you." He said with a dark chuckle. I didn't answer, I just tried to will my body into the same numbness as before.

My concentration was broken when a sharp pain started in my cheek, causing me to cry out once more in pain

"I asked you a fucken question! Answer me!" he yelled.

"No All right! I don't like it!" I yelled back moving my hands to shove him back, yeah it didn't do anything.

Angered by both responses he said "It's time to pay." His voice went flat.

With speed I didn't know a person could have he was back to his original place down there and he ripped down my underwear and entered me. My breath left me is a huff and then he started. He bent over to me and just when I was going to yell no he grabbed both my hands with one hand and the other went back to the hem of my shirt, which he shoved up along with my bra.

Grabbing both of my hands with his started pumping out of me. Each time worse than the last, while his dick violated my downstairs area his mouth started to assault my boobs

I tried again with little hope that it might work to move or do something to get away but it didn't work, and he didn't like me trying to get away, his dick went almost all the way out then he slammed his hips into mine going much deeper and painful than he was going before.

He was making growling noises and moaning and he was getting louder now.

His dick that hurt to begin with started to twitch down in there (which made me want to gag) got bigger for a short fast time before he cummed in me.

He stayed there for a while and I didn't move because I didn't want to be hurt again.

He took something that I will never get back.

He sighed a sigh of relief and reached his head to my ear, his hot breath making me cringe.

"So where was your toshiro?" he asked and I could just hear that cynical smile on his voice. I didn't answer just continued staying there trying to ignore the pain in my chest that was getting bigger and harder to ignore.

"He wasn't here to save you. Was he really worth screaming for?" his voice once more spoke but this time in a true curious tone, which was followed by a dark laugh.

His hand had a cloth in it and he pressed it against both my airways.

Whatever it had made my body feel the same numbness as before and my eye's started to droop instantly.

The last thing I saw where his hazel eyes watching me before i succumbed to the drug induce sleep.

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**hey! so this is the 1st chapter! i started writing this in like 6th grade (I'm now in 8th) but i felt like finishing it.  
Hopefully it won't suck!**

**And THIS IS GOING TO BE ALL HUMAN WORLD! NO POWERS OR GHOST!**

**the 1st * thing after mac is because i didn't know if you guys would understand but it just means to like kiss or like to have a huge make-out session**

**and the 2nd * is because i wanted to let you guys know that i was watching a Fred Video when i was writing that so yeah**

**DO YOU GUYS LIKE IT! REVIEW!**


	2. The Morning After

**HI okay well here is chapter two.  
I hope you like it.**

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It wasn't until I felt something gush out of me that I woke up. I didn't really freak out because I leaned this last year 'all virgins that have sex the first time will most likely bleed later that night' (humph, stupid teacher) I didn't know how long I had been asleep so I was thankful when I was saw my cell phone a couple of feet away. Not wanting to stand yet because of the pain in my…Um well vagina. I crawled to it.

I'm going to have to get used saying that word' I thought as I got to my phone and opened it up wincing as the bright light hurt my eyes, when my eyes adjusted I noticed I had 5 missed calls and 10 new text messages.

1 call was from my Mom and 4 were from Toshiro. I felt a pang in my chest and my eyes started to blur. I couldn't deal with him now. And I erased his calls.

It was the same with the text messages 2 from my mom and 8 from him; I deleted them without reading them.

It was 2:45am. It was about 11pm when I left the club. A shudder ran through me and a sob tried to creep it's way out, but I managed not to lose control.

Moving from my stomach to my back I realized a few things:

1. I was still naked.

2. It was late and my mom was going to kill me for coming home so late.

3. I'm not on the pill.

And

4. The guy didn't use a condom.

This time I didn't try and stop the sob, not that I could anyway it came back in full force.

I was on the floor somewhere and I was alone and there is big chance I might get pregnant. Each breath that passed through my mouth was hurting my chest and every exhale a louder sob ripped through my body.

It wasn't for a while that I stopped crying hysterically, and just laid there on the cold, gross floor wiping the trail of tears that kept falling.

I looked back at my phone and pressing a random button the screen lit up and it said the time was now 3:30.

The only reason I got up and started finding my clothes was the thought of my mother yelling at me. At 3:45 I was now dressed and walking back to my house.

I was about halfway there when the guy's last two questions ran through my head.

**_"So where was your toshiro?" _**he asked **_"Was he really worth screaming for?"_**

I had the answers all along I just didn't want to admit it. Admit that Toshiro was back at the club drinking and grinding the drunken sluts.

Admit that No he wasn't worth losing my voice over, because I was positive that I wasn't going to be able to talk at all tomorrow, Any other time I think he would have been worth it but tonight no, no he wasn't.

**"_So where was your __toshiro?" _**correct answer; he wasn't there to save me, to protect me like he always did.

He just wasn't there.

I looked up and saw I was now standing on the threshold of my driveway. The porch light was turned on. A warning to myself from my mom that she was still awake and waiting for me.

Taking a deep breath and wiping the tears that started to fall from my eyes when I was thinking about Toshiro, I started walking across the lawn.

I just had my hand on the doorknob when it flung open revealing a very angry mother of mine.

"Please don't." I said tears once more filling my eyes.

"Momo?" My mom said now getting a better look at me, I'm sure.

"It's nothing." I said and rushed passed her and up the stairs to get to my room, which only made the tears fall harder because of all the pictures I had of Toshiro and me on my vanity. I walked numbly to the pictures and started at them, at _my_ toshiro. One that my mom took where we were drinking soda on the bench out back laughing, us smiling to the camera, our head looking like they were stuck together. Our hair meshing, brown and white.

The pain in my chest was making it harder to breath I looked away from the pictures and walked to my closet where I had extra shoeboxes. With the box in one hand I started taking down the pictures and putting them in the box.

When I was done, the pictures hid the box's bottom.

I placed the box in the furthest part of my closest and closed its' door. And for a while I just stood there in the middle of my room. I wasn't looking at anything in particular; my eyes were blurry and unfocused.

"Momo?" my mom's voice softly rang out. She opened the door, and leaned against the doors edge.

"Are you okay? You kind of got here late." She asked she wasn't angry anymore from what I can see. She was now just concerned.

I felt my eyes water and I thought 'wow, I haven't dried myself out yet.'

"Momo?" She asked again getting up from the door and coming towards me.

I tried to open my mouth but all that came out was a giant sob. I wrapped my arms around her and clutched her to me. I heard her try to calm me down saying, "shh it's okay shhh."

"No it's not." I managed to gasp out.

"What's wrong Momo?" She asked rubbing my back as we stood there in the middle of my room.

I shook my head, not answering.

"Please tell me." She said again walking us to the bed I think.

I managed to stop sobbing like an idiot and look her in the eyes. All I saw was concern. I knew that I had to tell her but I was scared, scared that she would hate me or something along those lines. I also knew that if I didn't tell her she would think I didn't trust her, and I do but I don't want her to be disappointed in me.

Taking a deep breath and hoping for the best I whispered in the dead silence of the house where it was only my mom and I, "I was raped."

I heard her gasp and say, "When?"

"Tonight. Mom I'm scared." I said still

whispering

She froze and stayed there for a few seconds, which then turned into minutes.

I started to freak out, wondering what the thoughts that were running through her head right now. Her face gave nothing away just shock.

"Mom?" I asked cringing as I heard my voice crack. My mom snapped out of whatever she was in and reached towards me and crushed me to her body and I knew that she wasn't disappointed in me or even mad…in her hug all I could feel was the love she had for me.

I wrapped my arms around her once more tighter than before and just cried with my mom resting her cheek on my head and rubbing my back.

The morning rays woke me up this time.

I looked at alarm clock radio and saw that it was 10 in the morning.

I wasn't sure exactly what moment I fell asleep last night, well this earlier morning I guess I should I say.

I looked down at myself and saw that I was tucked inside the covers of my bed.

Flashes of last night past through my eyes making me flinch and I smashed my hands to my face in a stupid attempt to knock the images out of my head.

Well I can tell you two things.

It didn't work.

The left side of my face started stinging as soon as my hand touched my face.

"Ugh!" I almost yelled throwing the covers off and moving to a sitting position at the same time.

"Ow." I muttered, my head throbbing as a wave of vertigo passed.

I'm not having a good morning…not at all. Gingerly climbing out of my bed I walked to my bathroom, shivering as my feet touched the cold tile floor.

I flipped on the light and saw why my face hurt; there was a huge ass bruise in a shape of a hand covering almost the whole left side of my face.

I poked it softly and muttered an ow.

I looked down and saw I was still wearing last night's clothes. Tears once again started to fill my eyes, blinking my eyes continuously until they went away I walked back to my room more slowly as I was now feeling a small yet very uncomfortable pain down there.

Picking just a random pair of washed out skinny jeans and a baggy black t-shirt along with my underwear and bra and placing them on my bed, I walked back into my bathroom.

Turning on the shower making sure that the water temperature would be as hot as possible, I started undressing. I had a full-length mirror inside the bathroom and I was looking at myself as I did so.

I had many bruises, I mean I know I'm an easy bruiser but it was ridiculous. When the mirror started fogging up I let my hair down from the bun my mother made for me sometime last time.

I walking into the shower and let the sweltering water run down from my head all the way down to my feet.

More flashes passed through my mind, and I whimpered softly to myself when it seemed that they weren't going to stop.

Opening my eyes I grabbed my loofah sponge and got my dove body wash cleaner, pouring almost all of the soup onto the loofah I rubbed it betweens my hands and waited for there to be a large amount of bubbles before rubbing my every inch of my body. It hurt but I didn't stop I felt dirty and gross and I wanted to wash away the memories. I scrubbed and scrubbed till my fingers started hurting from the amount of pressure I was using. My skin was a bright reddish pink when I was done and it burned slightly from the water. I did the same for my hair I fill my palm with my peach scented shampoo and scrubbed my head until it was sensitive to the touch.

I was obsessing I know, but I couldn't help it, I would rather be scrubbing than crying at this point right now.

When I felt the water start to cool I quickly dabbed on the conditioner then rinsed it off. Turning off the water I stayed there for a bit looking at my arms and how the steam was going up.

Taking a deep breath I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me.

I shivered slightly all the way to my room. I

I had just finished combing my hair, when the doorbell rang. I waited in my room to hear if my mom would answer the door. The doorbell rang again, sighing quietly I looked back at the mirror, there was no freaking way I was going to be able to hid this bruise. I never had a reason to buy concealer. I stood up, trying to ignore the not so small pain anymore down there and walked out of my room and down the stairs.

The doorbell rang once more just when I had my hand on the knob. I opened the door slightly just enough so I could hide the left side of my face and gasped.

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**kay so i know it was short i'm sorry, but What did you think?**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	3. I'm Going To Be A Mom

**Hey i'm back! i know it was forever! but things got kind of hectic when i came back from mexico. Hope you like the chapter!**

_p.s. i am close to finishing i'm mute chapter 5. Yay!_

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"Momo? You okay?" my mom's voice called out from the other side of the door.

Taking a deep choppy breath I said, "Yeah I'm fine."

Okay so it's been two weeks since that night, and earlier this morning my mom went down town to go but me a pregnancy test. I didn't let her buy one in this town because people could be freaking nosy as hell, I don't want any rumors to start yet. I say yet because I know it's unavoidable, but a girl can hope can't she?

She came back at least an hour ago with a brown paper bag in her hand, which I took and walked to the bathroom. I started at the bag for a long time before I actually opened it up. I took out the test and placed it on the counter sideway, the front cover facing me as I slide down to the floor.

Which is where I am now. I looked at my watch and saw I've been in here for about an hour and a half.

"Did you…take it?" she asked when I didn't say anymore.

"…No." I said a little quieter.

"Momo…we won't know if you don't take it." She said to me, being patient.

"Fine." I said, getting my ass up off the floor.

2 minutes later I'm dipping the test in a cup with some of my pee in it.

Now the hard part. The wait.

I stared at my image in the mirror; the bruise was almost gone, now it was just a few shades darker than my normal skin.

My cell phone beeped and I looked at my screen, Rukia.

I felt my mouth shift into a small smile as I thought of how I got her number in the first place.

_The doorbell rang once more just when I had my hand on the knob. I opened the door slightly just enough so I could hide the left side of my face and gasped._

_"Uh...Hi?" I said after a few seconds._

"_Hi, Momo." Rukia said looking really shy._

_What was she doing here? _

_I opened my mouth and closed when no sounds came out._

_I cleared my throat before trying again._

"_What are- what are you doing here? No offense."_

_Smiling a bit she said, "I woke up this morning and I thought you might want to take to someone. Also I wanted to know if you were okay."_

_I stared at her as my brain took in all she said. She was here because she was worried about me._

"_So...um if you want to talk know I'm here okay, you may not want to right now, but I'll be here when you do." And with that she slipped a piece of paper in my hand, walked back to her car and drove off. She seems to ramble when's she's nervous I noticed before_

_I looked at the slip and saw that it was a phone number I guessed it was hers._

_Later that day I texted her saying thank you for caring, but I wasn't ready to share._

_She replied that it was fine, not to worry and that again she was here when I was ready._

My phone's reminder beeped once and I opened the text

**Hey**

**How r u doing?**

My reply was

**Could be better, I'm busy text you later **

Once I sent the text, I saw that the 5 minutes were up. I looked down to the test, which I had turned over so I couldn't see the results and froze.

In the back of my mind I knew there was a 99.8 percent chance I was pregnant, but that didn't stop the question from popping into my head.

What would I do if I was pregnant? Would I finish school? More importantly would I go with the pregnancy or choose abortion?

My stomach turned and I knew then that not matter what happened, I would absolutely never ever chose to get the baby abortion. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I killed something so pure despite the ways it came to be.

I also knew that if I wasn't pregnant…well I would be relived because I was only 16!

I bit my lower lip and turned over the test.

It read + positive.

If I said I was shocked…well I would be lying because I'm not.

If I said I was sad…I wouldn't really know if I was lying.

Now if I said I was somewhat numb… Ding, ding, ding we have a winner.

"Mom?" I called out my voice cracking slightly as my eyes started to blur.

She opened the door, looking at me for the span of one heartbeat and then I was in her arms.

I wasn't crying hysterically like the last couple of weeks, the tears just kept falling but I wasn't making any noise.

I felt my mom take the test out of my hand as we walked of the bathroom.

"I'll go make some hot chocolate." She said walking out of the room.

I walked to my bed and sat down then I let myself fall sideways and then moved over to my back.

As I stared at the ceiling I placed both of my hands on my stomach and whispered, "I'm pregnant."

My cell phone beeped for a new text message and I opened it up thinking it was Rukia.

Only…it wasn't.

_It's been 5 days since that night where I was…raped, and it's my first day back to school since then. I've been dodging Toshiro all day and right now I'm hiding in the girl's bathroom checking on the make-up my mom applied on my face this morning._

_"Momo, are you in here?" Toshiro's voice called out._

_Shit._

_"Momo? I saw you go inside, c'mon."_

_Double shit._

_Since that Friday _**(A/N: I don't know if I ever said that in the 1****st**** chapter…but yeah it was on a Friday**_**) **__I've been ignoring him, his texts, calls, and when he came to my house a couple of times I made my mom tell him I was either sleeping or not feeling good._

_When I didn't answer I heard him sigh and I assumed he walked away._

_I sighed my own sigh and walked over the far corner of the bathroom to get my bags so I could leave, seriously doesn't the school know what the invention of air freshener is for?_

_When I turned around I bumped into a hard chest and knew that it wasn't a girl._

_Triple shit._

"_Seriously?" He asked his eyes narrowing a bit. I shrank back a bit but then stood my ground with a glare of my own, which shocked both of us since I was usually a very passive person._

_Over the day's I was ignoring him my sadness and disgust for what he did slowly morphed to anger, and I knew it was somewhat irrational but I didn't care._

"_What?" I asked trying to keep my anger hidden. _

"_It's pretty obvious, don't you think. Why are you ignoring me." He said closing the distance till he was right in front of me._

"_You know what you did." I muttered trying to get past him not feeling like fighting with him, but he blocked my way._

_Staring at me with his eyes wide, suddenly he blew up "No! No I don't. I don't know what I did to piss you off so much!" he yelled._

"_Yes you do! But you think your so damn perfect that nothing you do is wrong!" I now yelled, right as the end of lunch bell rang, but neither of us moved._

_Narrowing his eyes even further he yelled in frustration before grabbing me by the shoulders and roughly pushing me up against the wall causing me to wince and cry out as my head bounced painfully off the wall. _

"_I don't know anything! I don't remember anything that happened Friday other than I didn't give you a ride home" He continued to yell, my arms beginning to hurt from the pressure he was holding me by._

"_Ow! Let go!" I yelled flashes from Friday running through my head and the pain getting bigger making my eyes start to tear up, much to my dismay _

_He opened his mouth to speak but someone beat him to it_

"_Toshiro! Let her go." It was Mr. Kyouraku or Mr.__Shunsui, as he likes to be called, along with Ichigo and Rukia._

"_Now." He said taking a step closer and placing his hand on Toshiro's shoulder pulling him back._

_Toshiro was still looking at me but had loosened his grip just enough for me to get away._

_Rukia wrapped her arms around me pulling me into a tight hug whispering, "It's okay don't worry."_

_I barely realized that I saw shaking until Ichigo patted me on the head and said in a comforting tone, "Don't worry Hinamori, he won't hurt you, he's just had a rough day."_

"_What were you thinking Toshiro." Mr. Kyouraku asked looking at Toshiro sternly._

"_I wasn't thinking." He answered looking down to the floor with his fist clenched tightly._

"_You're right, you weren't thinking. You could have hurt miss Hinamori and it would have led to lots of trouble. Now Momo are you hurt." He asked._

_Emotionally, yes I saw hurt, but physically, _

"_No, my arms are just fine." I answered keeping my eyes away from toshiro who was staring at me._

"_Are you okay enough to go to class?" Mr. Kyouraku asked looking concerned._

_When I simply nodded Ichigo walked over to where Toshiro was and picked up my book bag then coming back and offering it to me._

_Taking it from him I started walking alongside Rukia who had the same class as me this hour._

"_Momo, wait." Toshiro called out._

_I turned around holding onto my left arm with my right hand and said, "Just leave me alone."_

_He didn't say anything, but his eyes expressed shock._

**Momo, I'm so sorry.** The text read rolling my eyes I deleted the message without replying. _He can't be sorry for something he doesn't even remember_, I thought just as my mother walked back into the room with two cups of her hot chocolate.

"Sweetheart, I've been thinking about something." She said as she sat on the edge of the bed handing me a cup and I tensed slightly thinking that she was for abortion, but what she said left me equally shocked.

"Why didn't you let me call the police to report what happened to you?"

It's true I didn't let her; after the shock of what happened wore off she went all momager on me. I asked her where she was going and started begging almost hysterically for her not to do that.

She ended up conceding to what I asked when I started crying so hard I almost threw up twice.

I cleared my throat a few times before whispering

"I don't want to be the towns main attraction for entertainment or pity"

It took her a minute to voice her thoughts,

"Oh honey, I'm positive the police would have kept quiet." She said trying but not succeeding in sounding sure and confident

Now voicing my thoughts, though they were more like known facts I said,

"Mom you and I both know this town thrives on gossip and even if the police didn't open their mouths it's still going to get out eventually…" I trailed off as a plan started to form in my head, it wasn't perfect or fool proof but it just might work.

My mom didn't notice anything so I'm guessing she thought I stopped there on purpose.

"Then how are you going to get ultrasounds and we still need to get you tested. That disgusting bastard could have passed something on to you." She said now sounding frantic, and to be honest I was a bit shocked she cussed.

"That's simple; we go to the next town over. It's only 45 minutes away." I told her sitting up straighter, and when she looked like she was going to reject this option I went to my last resort.

"Mom, when this gets out…my pregnancy. I'm not going to be able to leave the house without being stared at. Please, just give me this. I want to be a normal teenager for as long as I can…Please" I said my voice going to a whisper as I neared the end of my plea.

I felt somewhat ashamed of myself from having to beg but I was desperate.

And my mom must have seen this because she sighed and said, "Okay…let's get going."

"Going where?" I asked as she headed for the door.

Turning around to face me she said, "To Montclair's general hospital."

"Oh." I said simple getting up as well and straighten up my clothes.

As we got in the car and then set off to Montclair my mom's words echoed in my head.

'_That disgusting bastard could have passed something on to you.' _

"Hinamori?" Some lady in her early twenties with hello kitty scrubs called out.

Looking at my mom who smiled encouragingly quietly said "Go." And motioned for me to start towards the lady.

"Hi, I'm Hana, right this way please." She said with a smile as she walked down the hallway. I didn't say anything just followed her.

"You're nervous?" Hana asked as she walked me into a room with light blue walls and told me to sit down on the examination table.

"Just a bit" I mumbled, wanting to get this done and over with.

"So your mother I'm assuming filled out the chart." She ask going through the routine of checking my pulse.

"Yeah." I said cautiously wondering as to what she was going with this, and I had to admit to even myself I was being a bit paranoid.

"She wrote that you took a pregnancy test today and it came out positive." She said getting out her stethoscope and placing it right above my chest instructing me to take a deep breath.

Doing as she said, I replied, "Uh yeah, it was…uh kind of a one night stand thing." Coming up with this lie, desperately yet pointlessly wishing it would be true.

I looked up to Hana expecting to see disapproval written all over her face but was pleasantly surprised when all I could see understood.

Nodding her head and turning to one of the many cabinets in the room she said, "People make mistakes all the time."

"Yeah." I said lamely.

"So I'm guessing it was unprotected sex? And I'm going out on a limb here but it was with a total stranger?" She asked zero mocking in her voice, which made me feel a bit more comfortable.

"That's one way of looking at it." I said unthinkingly answering both of her questions.

Giving me a curious look but not asking for further explanation, she started walking back to me unwrapping something.

I groaned out load as I saw that it was a syringe.

Laughing at my reaction she said, "I hate them too, but don't worry it'll be fast. We want to make sure the baby's development is unaffected by an STD."

My head snapped up to meet her eyes, "What." I squeaked out, feeling my heart start to pound my entire body felt hot and clammy as I was struck by a sudden fear.

"Calm down." She said place a soothing hand on my shoulder and calmly finishing her sentence, "it's not unheard of for a situation to happen like this but when it does, we're able to put the mother on a medication plan which if followed correctly it reduces the chances of the baby catching the STD tremendously."

"Really." I said feeling my eyes sting with tears from the fear of having this baby suffer from an STD.

"Yes." She said smiling lightly and starting to rub a cotton swab doused in alcohol on my arm, I looked away as she got the needle into position, looking instead at my flat stomach.

"I'll go start running the test, so I'll be back in a bit." Hana said walking out of the room and leaving me to stare at my stomach.

When 2 minutes passed and she still hadn't come back I grabbed my shirt from the middle of the stomach and pulled it away from me then let it go, only to pull it away from me again, repeating the process over and over again trying to imagine the actual thing.

"You having fun?" Hana's voice rang out unexpectedly in the silence and I turned towards the door seeing her standing there with an amused smile.

Shrugging I muttered, "Not much." And I felt my face start to burn.

"Do you have any questions?" She asked her face friendly and open.

Talking a deep breath and letting it out slowly I said a in soft voice, "When…you know…when will I start… uh showing?"

"It depends, larger women will show around after 20 weeks, 5 months, or never show at all. But smaller woman, like you, will show up to as fast as 2 to 3 months." She explained.

2 to 3 months.

"Wow." I muttered.

"I got the data back." Hana said once more breaking through my reverie making my heart pound faster in my chest.

"Your clean." She smiled.

"Really?" I asked my eyes misting over from the immense relief I felt surging through me

and I knew then that despite everything, I would be fine. It wouldn't be easy but I would make it.

I was going to be a mom.

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**Hope you liked it!**


	4. What Are Friends For

**Hey! okay so here it is. the 4th chapter. i hope you like it.**

**p.s. Anymore suggestions on names?**

* * *

My stomach rolled waking me up from my dream.

My mouth started to water and I felt the bile rise to my throat, throwing the blanket off and rushing to the bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet, I started to gag continuously.

_I hate morning sickness_, I thought spitting out some of the saliva into the toilet then flushing.

Groaning I stood up and went to the sink to rinse my mouth out and brush my teeth.

As I did, I took deep breaths so the toothpaste wouldn't make me anymore nauseous then I already was.

The hospital check up, whatever you want to call it, was a month ago now.

Today was April 24th making the night I was raped officially a month ago.

"Momo?" My mom asked knocking on the door

"Come in." I said rinsing out the toothpaste foam.

I heard the door clink open and when I looked up in the mirror, I saw my mother with her hair in a loose ponytail standing right on the threshold of the bathroom with a concerned expression.

"Is something wrong?" I asked turning around to face her.

"No, not at all." She said in an attempt to sound casual. She didn't succeed.

"Mom," I said looking her straight in the eyes with my arms crossed.

"Well," She started reluctantly but her eyes begged me for something, " I thought it might be nice if you'd stay home today."

I was shaking my head before she was even finished. We've had this discussion before.

"You know I can't. I need to get as much credits as I can before I have to leave." I told her. She grumbled something about me being stubborn. I was okay with that.

"I don't know why you have such a harsh morning sickness." She off handily. I shrugged thinking about when she told me about her pregnancy, she said she never had morning sickness. Lucky for her.

"It's fine, it goes away, remember." I said turning to the side and wiping my hands on the spare towel I had in here.

"I know, but… what if you feel the need to throw up in class?" She said looking at me with more concern.

"Then I throw up in class. Beside I could pass that up to an upset stomach. Calm down mom, I'll be fine. I'll even take one of those pills, Hana gave me." I said giving her a smile to let her know I was okay. The wooziness was fading and the stomach churning was settling.

"Okay." She sighed resigned and stepping back into my room. I patted her arm to comfort her as I walked passed. I went to my closet and got out a pair loose fitting skinny jeans, a black spaghetti strap undershirt and a plaid purple and black long sleeve.

I didn't bother going back to the bathroom to change; I mean there isn't anything my mom hasn't seen, you know maybe a bit more developed but originally it's still the same.

"Are you hungry?" Mom asked coming up behind me and pulling my shoulder blade length hair up into a bun, leaving just a few strands of hair out.

"Sort of," I started to say but looked at my alarm clock, "But I'll just get something from school. Rukia's going to be here any minute." To prove my point there was a honking from outside just a second later.

"You promise?" Mom warned.

"Yes. Now I got to go." I got up turning around as I did so and gave her a peck on the check. I grabbed my cell phone, iPod and my backpack then I was out the door.

"Hinamori!" Ichigos' yelled over the loud pop music that was blasting from the speakers.

"Hi," I laughed as Rukia slapped Ichigo for trying to lower the volume.

"Get out! Momo sits in the front." She yelled angrily as she was trying to push Ichigo out.

"Rukia!" I yelled over the music to get her attention. Once she was looking at me (and still hitting Ichigo) I said, "I'm fine with sitting in the back."

Ichigo easily fighting off Rukia turned his head towards me and smiled.

"No it's okay. I'm moving right now." In one smooth motion he captured Rukias' hands and got out.

"Thanks." I muttered and stepping inside her car.

"Good morning!" Rukia said glaring at Ichigo as he slammed the door shut.

"Good morning, thank you for giving me a ride." I said placing my book bag on my lap.

"It's no problem, what are friends for." She joked and put the car in reverse making her way through the streets and towards school.

We got to school in a few short minutes; Rukia and Ichigo seem to fight a lot in the mornings I also noticed.

"Are you ready for 7 hours of hell, Hinamori?" Ichigo asked his voice slightly joking as he came around the car and rested his arm on my head.

"Not at all. But I am ready for breakfast and for your arm off my head." I said when he still didn't remove it when I started walking.

"It's not my fault both of you are so short." He said walking in step with me.

"Idiot." Rukia said slapping his arm.

She maneuvered her way to my left side, linking her arm through mine as we walked through the school's entrance with Ichigo lazing behind after having striked a conversation with Keigo… you know after first giving him a nose bleed.

I walked towards the cafeteria pulling a texting Rukia along with me.

I got my blueberry muffin and orange juice and immediately started eating.

"Hey Momo?" Rukia asked after a few minutes of us sitting down a bench waiting for the bell to ring.

"Yeah?" I asked tilting my head to the side.

"Do you want to sit with me during class? I've noticed that you and Toshiro haven't been sitting together, you're all alone in the back corner now." She said oblivious my suddenly tense body. I loosed up before she turned her towards me expectantly

I smiled and nodded my head.

"That'd be nice."

She smiled back just as the bell rang.

"Who ever though history for 1st period was sane should be sent to jail." She muttered reaching down the bench and picking up her things.

I did the same and said.

"I agree, but who knows maybe Mr. Kyouraku has something fun for us today."

I was wrong. Every groaned, Mr. Kyouraku included when we learned her had a pre pop quiz. I finished the test with 20 minutes to spare, and with nothing to do I let my gaze wander through the class. Rukia was using the nub of her eraser to scratch her head, I looked back to the teacher, and he was sleeping as he usually did during small quizzes with his feet kicked up on the desk.

I looked back at Rukia and grabbed her attention, when I had it, she had a frustrated look on her face.

_What number are you on?_ I mouthed

_The last one, it's a bitch_. She mouthed back, slapping the quiz with her pencil.

I thought back to my quiz, and realized why she was having a hard time. It was a trick question and if we could solve it we get 10 points extra credit.

_What did you get?_ She asked

Smiling innocently I replied, _I don't remember._

_Liar._

I shrugged and turned away, letting her get back to the test. I looked out the window and for a few minutes stared at the sky making figures out of the little clouds there were.

After a bunny, lion and weird dragon I looked back to the classroom. I froze once more this morning when I caught Toshiro's gaze. He held my gaze for a few seconds before looking away with a shake of his head.

I looked away as well and noticed that my arms were wrapped around my stomach. I unwrapped them slowly, wanted to get out of class. Thankfully the bell rang just a minute later. Mr. Kyouraku jolted awake and rubbed his eyes

"Alright, pass up your papers before leaving. See you guys tomorrow."

Rukia gave out a long sigh and muttered, "Finally, I thought I was going to die in there! Now seriously what did you get for 30?" she turned around walking backwards with her book in her arms.

"I got D none of the above." I said distracted as I saw Renji creep his way towards, he saw me looking at him and half smiled mischievously bring his index finger to his lips, telling me to keep quiet.

I quickly looked back to Rukia who was talking about having guessed that very answer as well. I didn't get the chance to tell her that I didn't need to guess, because Renji took this opportunity to capture Rukia and keep her in a headlock.

"Let go of me!" She yelled over Renji's laughter as she tried to reach over his thick arm to punch him in the face. With no avail.

The rest of the school day happened without much disaster, I ended up having to take one of those pills that Hana gave me during lunch. Hana had explained that those pills didn't eliminate the chances of vomiting but they helped keep my stomach settled which would reduce the chances of vomiting. (A/N: did I get that right?)

The weeks flew by, as did my growing friendship with Rukia. I spent one entire Saturday talking with my mom asking and trying to convincing her that it wouldn't be such a bad idea to tell her. She left me alone for a while to go make lunch and as much as I hated keeping something from Rukia, who was fast becoming a best friend to me, I knew my mom had a point.

Rukia and I still hardly knew each other, I still didn't know what kind of person she was on the inside, and though I thought it might be just the same as on the outside I couldn't risk telling her yet. Not knowing if she was a spiteful person when she was angry. But I promised myself that I would tell her when the time came I had to leave school.

A beeping sound broke through my reverie, with my eyes still closed I felt around on my bed until I felt my cell phone.

"What's up?" I asked opening it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Please don't hang up." His voice snapped my eyes open and I cursed myself for my laziness to check first.

I didn't say anything, but I didn't hang up either. I had been doing a great job of ignoring him half of the reasoning being that he himself was also staying away from me. I would sometimes catch him looking at me through my peripheral vision, but I never turned towards him.

"Did you hang up?" he asked after the silence kept going.

"No." I said my voice was low

"Can we talk?"

"I don't think so. No" I answered my eyes wandering through my room, settling on my reflection in the vanity mirror.

I was laying down flat on my back, wearing a white wife beater and some past year P.E shorts.

I stared hard on the middle of my stomach, shifting my cell phone between my shoulder and side of my face. I used both hands and grabbed the sides of my shirt. I pulled lightly, trying not to tear the thin old fabric. I took an intake of breath as my eyes misted over.

Completely cutting off whatever it was Toshiro had begun to say I said,

"I've got to go." And hung up.

I let my phone fall back onto the bed and I slowly let go of my shirt, lifting the hem of my shirt to just above my bust. There it was, it was small but it was there. I ran my fingers over the little bump slowly.

"Momo! I've been knocking on the front door for a whi-…Momo?" Rukia voice was coated in shock, I quickly sat up, bring down my shirt as I did so. My face burned and I felt exposed as her eyes kept shifting from my face to my stomach.

"Holy fuck." She chocked out as realization sprang out before her eyes.

"Oh my God, Momo." Rukia whispered slowly, reaching her hand towards my cheek to wipe the stray tear.

I gave a short laugh, in an attempt to keep from crying and I looked down to my lap, were I was picking at the loose ends of my shorts.

We spent the last hour on my bed as I told Rukia the situation. I watched her reactions as I told her about the rape. She grew still and quiet, her eyes wide.

"Do…Do you promise not to tell anyone?" I said looking her straight in the eye.

She started nodding her quickly, "Of course! I won't tell anyone. Cross my heart and hope not to die."

I laughed lightly as I started at her.

My eyes watered up and I managed to say with my throat think with tears, "Thank you."

She smiled back and repositioned herself next to me against the headboard.

She knocked her shoulder into mine and wrapped her arm around me saying,

"What are friends for."

We stayed quiet for a few minutes, enwrapped in our own thoughts.

"Hey Momo?" She murmured turning her head towards me.

"Yeah?" I asked resting my chin against my knee.

"Is it fair to ignore him though." She said looking at me seriously.

When I didn't answer she continued,

"He doesn't know what you do, he doesn't know your side of the story. To him it's probably like you've dropped him cold turkey…can you honestly tell me that you have no feelings for him anymore what-so-ever?"

I lifted my head and said,

"No, I probably couldn't tell you honestly. But I just can't…" I paused swallowing the lump in my throat, "I just can't let go of that night. I mean, if he hadn't…I wouldn't have been." I stopped, angrily running my hand through my loose hair, blinking away my tears.

She let me have my time, patiently waiting for me to slow my jumbled thoughts.

"I don't need him in my life right now. I have more important things to deal with."

"Like being pregnant?" she asked.

I looked at her for a few seconds.

"Yes. Just like being pregnant."

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**So what's you think?**

**review on your thoughts?**


	5. Can Or Cannot

**_Hey, remember me? remember this story? yeah it's been awhile. and its a short chapter too! so that sucks. anyway i kinda left this story alone for a while because i wanted to work on I'm Mute. but i felt bad and finished this chapter anyways.  
soooo :D on with the reading!_**

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June 1st 2011, I wrote on my paper, it was 1st period and we were taking some final exams. It was the last weeks of school and I was about 2 and half months along. Hana was right, 2 to 3 months, from that day when I told Rukia everything to now the bump has gotten bigger. I'm wearing more loose clothing, but nothing to baggy so I won't draw attention.  
I looked down at my paper, there was only 15 minutes left in class and I was on the last page of the history test. It was easy for me; history was always one of my best subjects. I would make a game out of memorizing the dates and facts when I was younger and I still do.  
Four minutes later I'm bubbling the last answer on my answer sheet. I silently stood up with my test in hand and walked up to the teachers' desk, placing it on the small pile of other completed test. I looked at the teacher and saw that he was once again sleeping, and I felt myself smile albeit sadly. This was the last month of school and I knew that sometime this month I would have to tell my teachers that I wasn't going to come back next year.  
As I walked back to my seat I saw Rukia thrust her fist into the air with a triumphant look on her face. I chuckled softly; she told me yesterday that she was nervous for the test. History was her worst subject. She thought it was useless to have to learn about things that happened 100 years ago when we lived in the now and present. So I have been helping her out and introduced her to my game. Her competitive side shined thoroughly and completely at the chance at winning, so she quickly caught on to memorizing.  
I sat back in my seat and looked out the window, waiting the time out. Thankfully I only had my science final and then everyone was dismissed.  
The bell rang and there was a consecutive group groan. All the kids around me stretched their arms forwards and backwards, moving their bodies in different ways.  
"Alright bring your test up front and have a nice day. You can leave your text books at home until the 20th." Mr. Kyouraku said running his eyes and then while yawning waving the kids out.  
Rukia and I walked slowly to the science building, relishing the sunny weather.  
"Thank you so much, Momo." Rukia said, "I think I passed the final. It was so easy!"  
Laughing I shook my head, "I told you it wouldn't be that hard."  
"It's easy for you, Mrs. Memorize!" she said sticking her tongue out. She was still miffed that I had barely showed her my game when I could have saved her from a lot of failed quizzes this year.  
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes playfully.  
"You any good at science?" she muttered walking into class.  
"Somewhat, why?" I whispered back as we walked to our seat in the back.  
"Can I copy?" She whispered back as the teacher called the attendance.  
Smirking I said, "You can copy what you can see."  
She pouted and turned to the front of the class. I made sure to keep my answer sheet out of her view.

"Hey, not cool woman! You didn't let me copy." Rukia said coming up to my locker with a mock sour look.  
"What kind of friend would I be if I let you copy?" I said organizing my locker a bit to get all my history and science stuff out. Rukia's cell phone rang and she answered with an "Y'ello." After a few seconds she said, "Okay." And hung up.  
"Hey I got to go, my mom's outside," she reached up and gave my cheek a peck, "Text me later."  
I nodded and laughed.  
A few minutes later I shut my locker door and spun the lock, tugging on it once to make sure it really locked. I walked blindly shifting some papers into my books. I crack opened my science book a bit more when I felt myself being pushed back roughly. Stumbling a little, I caught myself, but my books slipped out of my hold and scattered around me. Annoyed I looked up to the person who pushed me, but stayed quiet as I saw who it was. Toshiro and I stay quiet, looking at each other.  
A moment later he bent down to pick up my books without a word.  
"Hey." He murmured handing me my books. His voice was soft and low.  
I grabbed my books from him, hugging them to my chest and quietly said, "Hi."  
The desolate hallway suddenly seemed small and tight; I looked away from him and bit my lip. This was the first time we've spoken since the phone call.  
I took a breath and said, "I've got to go."  
"Yeah, sure." He said and as casual as ever reached up to push a lock of loose hair out of my face and behind my ear. My breathing halted as I met his shining teal eyes, and as hard as he tried he couldn't hide the emotion in them. I just didn't know what it was. My body felt warm and my heart fluttered as his hand lightly ran down my cheek. My senses were assaulted by him, all I could smell was him. I took a shuddering breath as his hand slowly left my skin and, like a light, I felt everything snap into place. I tightened my hold on my books and quickly turned to leave. I only heard my foot steps echoing in the hallway, I looked back a few steps later and saw that Toshiro was staring back at me. His hands were balled up in a fist.  
I felt my face burn and turned away, quickening my pace.

"Are you sure you don't want to do anything for you're birthday this year?" my mom said handing me a bowl of ice cream as we sat down to watch some Lifetime movies.  
I shrugged breaking down the ice cream and licking the spoon clean before responding.  
"Yeah I'm sure."  
With a disappointed look on her face she rolled her eyes and reached over to mess up hair, despite my cries of annoyance.  
"You're such a downer." She said laughing as I carefully sat my bowl of ice cream down on my lap before fixing my hair.  
I stuck my tongue out and said, "So."  
Taking on a note of seriousness she said, "I just think you should enjoy you're last birthday."  
"Well I think that I'd be fine with a no birthday party, party." I said. I wasn't in the mood to have a party or to have a party where I knew some people weren't going to come. Or rather be invited.  
"Momo!" My mom whined, even though we never made a bid deal about my birthday parties she always said that she was saving up to give me this big sweet sixteen bash.

"Mother!" I whined in the same tone, before shushing her and grabbing the remote control to raise the volume. I happened to like the movie they were showing.  
"Momo, you only turn 17 once. At least let me take out to dinner." She said her voice getting serious now. I sighed knowing she was only pressing the matter because deep down, we both knew this would be my last birthday before I… before I was a mother. My throat started closing up and my eyes pricked with tears. I set my bowl of ice cream aside and sat up on the couch resting my elbows on my knees and covering my face with my hands. I shook with tears that wouldn't fall. I felt overwhelmed and lost but most of all I was scared. I was only 16, my birthday 2 days away and I was going to have a rape case baby. I was too young to take on the responsibility of a baby. Hell I barely learned how to make pancakes without burning them.  
"Shh." My mom cooed as she gently rubbed my back with her hand.  
"H-how am I going to take care of a b-baby i-if i can barely take c-care of myself." My dry sobs making hard to correctly articulate my words without breaking them up with stutters.  
"D-do I even w-want this t-t-thing in me in my life after its born. Can I take care-"  
Mom got off the couch and went on her knees right in front of me. She grabbed my face between her hands firmly and said with a voice of finality,  
"Momo, calm down. You have no reason to cry about this right _now_. You have weeks and months to think this through. All you have to worry about at this moment in time is your health for that _baby_. It's not at fault for becoming a baby; it's not at fault for growing inside of you. It's done no wrong. It's completely innocent in this matter despite how it came to be. I love you Momo, and I will be with every step of the way. And at the end of these 9 months you still believe that you can't take care of it, we'll let the baby go to a caring and more then deserving family. Okay? Can you take a deep breath and focus on my words right now." I managed to nod and started to take quick short little gasps.  
"In…out. In…out." She said lowly never breaking eye contact with me. I followed her words, breathing in and out. We didn't speak again until I had stopped gasping for air.  
"Better?" she asked letting go of my face with a gently pat.  
I nodded my head, "Yeah." I bit my lip, her words running over and over in side my head to keep from freaking out once more.  
"Lets get you a bath." She said standing me up, turning off the long forgotten movie. I walked to my mom's room, following her. I watched quietly as she turned on her bath sitting down on the edge of the tub to fix the water temperature. I even managed to smile a little when I saw her going over to her cabinets and took out a bottle of peach scented bubble bath. She poured a generous of the soupy liquid into the tub and almost immediately a white froth began to grow as it began to mix with the pouring water.  
"Come here." Mom said turning toward me. I obeyed and as soon as I was close enough she began to help me undress.  
naked, I stepped into the tub, careful with my steps so I wouldn't fall due to the bubbles. I let out a content sigh as I felt the warm water soothe my tense muscles. There was a knock on the door before my mom stepped back in, having left the room to let me finish undressing completely without her inside. She smiled as she saw me. I was resting my hand against the slope of the tub, my feet barely showing above the bubbles wiggling my toes. It took over an hour for the bath to end. We laughed and joked about the random things and we had a small bubble war. My favorite part wasn't just being able to joke and simply enjoy my mom's company like I used to before this whole ordeal, no my favorite part was when she washed my hair. She used her short nails to gently run them across my scalp as she lathered the shampoo. The nostalgic feelings coursing through me letting memories resurface. I was 6 years old again in this very tub. I was giggling like crazy as my mom tapped my nose, her finger full of bubbles. She had rested her forehead against mine and I had reached my tiny nose to hers moving side to side to transfer some bubbles to her own nose. I remembered the feeling of her wrapping that big fluffy white towel over my body and wrapping me up nice and tight, or as she liked to call it making me into a Momo burrito.  
I had managed to escape my thoughts for a while but as I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep, the very thoughts I had tried to forget came back. I kept thinking about them for a long time the most important taking center stage before I finally welcomed sleep.  
_At the end of 9 months, it's not going to be if I believe I can or cannot take care of this baby…it going to be whether I could find it in me to love and care for a baby of monster…because right now… I don't think I can._

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_**So yeah. did i do good? the last bit just came to me and i had to write it. i love those mother daughter moments. not that i have any myself like that as momo did, but *shrugs* :) **  
**i hope i did you all good with this chapter and! Maybe you won't hate me so much after i tell you this.**  
**...**  
**...**  
**...**  
**The next chapter shall be in Toshiro's pov. :D**  
**review on your thoughts!**  
_


	6. I Miss

**Authors notes at the bottom:O**

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I can't do this, oh my god I was freaking out. Today was the day I decided to tell all my teachers that I wasn't going to come back for the following school year. Crap.

I gulped and bit my lip. With a horribly shaking hand I knocked on the teachers lounge door. I knew all my teachers would have been here. It was Friday, which at my school was called fat Friday by the teachers. It was something like one teacher would go out and by a shit load of fast food and the others would eat it.

The door opened and Mr. Kuchiki, my Honors Algebra 2 teachers, looked at me questioningly. Or maybe annoyed…it was hard to tell with him.  
"Is there something you needed Hinamori?"

I stared at him for a moment longer, intimidated by his presence, before I remembered that I did in fact need something.  
"May I speak to all of you? It'd only take a second."

I jumped when I heard the rest of the teachers call out an "Okay."

Mr. Kuchiki nodded as well and stepped back inside leaving the door opened.

"Thank you." I mutter and walk to the center of the room. All my teachers where here.  
I take a breath and look at each one of them.

"You've all be amazing teachers to me and I'm grateful for everything you've taught me, but I won't be returning next school year. My mom and I are going to go live with my grandmother for the up coming months, so I'll be enrolled into a nearby school there."

I rushed out all my words knowing my emotions would get the better of me and I'd cry. I hated having to lie to them but, it was for the best, at least that's what mom says anyway.

I give a quick bow and wait for their response. They wish me well and that they'll miss me as a student. My eyes tear up as they crack jokes and I give them all a quick hug before I claim I have to go get food before the lunch hour ends. I don't go to the cafeteria though, I head straight to the restrooms, which thankfully are empty, and cry.

The tears finally catching up to me.

**Toshiro p.o.v.**

When Momo left, the laughing stopped almost immediately. I clench my teeth and accidentally crumble the piece of paper I had in my hands. I walk out of the copy machine room and see that all of the teachers were waiting for me to come out.

"Did you know?" Mr. Kyouraku is the first to ask. I shake my head numbly and mumble out a "thank you for letting me the copier" before I walk out.

My mind is turning at the thought of Momo not being at school. Sure, she has decided to stop letting me be her friend, but that didn't mean she stopped being _my_ best friend.

I hate to admit that I haven't been trying harder to make her tell me why she suddenly started ignoring me. The first few times she's blown me off hurt like hell. I've gone through every memory I have to try and figure out just why she started hating me.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear a pained cry come out of the girls' restroom. My heart tightens as I recognize that tone. It's Momo. No matter how long it's been since she's talked to me, her voice is something I'll never forget.

Looking around I walked closer to the door; hearing my girls', my Momo's, cry become louder. I clasp my hand against the doorframe. While every part of my being was telling me to go inside and comfort her, because as her best friend it was my job to protect her, my job to make her feel better whenever she was down, I simply couldn't make my mind send the command to my feet to walk in and gather her in my arms until her tears dried out.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't do that. I wouldn't let myself be subjected to her cold stares or rejection. Hearing her cry tore my heart apart, but every time she looked away from me with that look of hate in her eyes, that hate which I didn't –still don't- know what I did to deserve, my heart felt like she was ripping it straight out of my chest.

So I stayed there, at the doorway listening to her cry until she stopped. I stayed there only until I finally heard her calm down and start picking up her things to leave the cursed restroom.

I missed my best friend. I missed her laugh, her eyes, and her smile. I missed the Momo who would tell me everything, no matter. Whose eyes would sparkle at the sight of watermelon on a hot after school day, I missed that. And fucking hell if I didn't miss the Momo who would randomly try and tackle me a few times before I just let her take me down and hug me.

I missed my Momo…all of her, every last part of her

I was going to figure out why she left our friendship…why she left me.

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**So school ended for today! 5/23/12 :D  
_I have decided that until i feel like it, I'm going to make the chapters short, maybe a little more or less like this chapter today._ **

**:D to be honest, i wrote this at around 1PM but fanfic was being douchey and yeah it wouldn't let me sign in. But i hope you liked it! the chapters should be coming up faster now that the chapters will be shorter. I'll try to make another update this week, maybe Friday or Saturday. Now i shall go back to watching American Idol. MY MAN PHILLIP PHILLIPS HAS TO WIN! I WILL CRY IF HE DOESN'T!**

_**REVIEW!**_  
_**Yay for drabbles?**_


	7. I Love

**Do you see what i meant about the chapters coming up faster?  
:P i like the drabble idea.  
Enjoy!**

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6 months later.

Date of birth: December, 20th 2012

Time (hours/minutes/seconds): 11:58:21

weight: 5 pounds 8 ounces

length: 11 inches.

Gender: Female

Mother: Momo Hinamori

Father: Unknown

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1 and half months old.

"Mom." I call out frustrated and scared. She wouldn't stop crying. I've tried feeding her, rocking her, changing her diaper, putting her in warmer clothes. Nothing worked. The more she cried the shittier I felt.

"Shh, don't cry honey. I know it's hard. You'll get better." Mom rubbed my shoulder a few times before leaning her chin on my head. I was sitting in front of my baby, who was crying in her crib.

"Do you think something's wrong with her?" my voice trembles at the thought. She was so tiny.

"I don't think so. She's a Hinamori. She's a fighter by default. If something is wrong with her she'll kick its' ass with her" She moved away from me, her voice going from normal to high and 'I'm looking at my granddaughter so I have to talk in a ridiculous voice' as she picked my baby up.

"Chubby legs, yes she will. What a good baby. Look at the beautiful baby. She gets it from her grandmother." She held her close, rocking her in her arms.

I roll my eyes, choking out a laugh.

"Give it a try." She whispers as my girl started to calm down.

I frowned but nodded, holding my hands out for her.

Almost immediately she began to cry again and I felt the tears come back.

"God." I mutter feeling angry at myself. This is my baby, my girl, my daughter and I couldn't make her calm down.

"You'll get it. Just relax. She can feel that you're tense." I look over to my mom and nod my head. Standing up, I go over to my bed and sit, awkwardly moving to the headboard and leaning against it. I put my baby into the crevice between my legs and slowly push the pads of my toes up and down, starting a slow and soft rocking motion.

She lessens in her cries, opening up her dull blue eyes back up and looking around. Her gaze lands on me and I smile, wiping my tears away.

"Hi baby." I whisper, looking up to see mom gone.

I startle when my baby starts to sniffle again

I rack my brain to figure out how to calm her down. My heart beats faster when I remember a memory. I smile and look down at my girl.

I take a breath and softly start singing.

"I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven." The sniffles are gone and all that's left if my baby girl looking at me. A big smile makes its way to my face when she reaches her tiny hands my way.

I gently hold them in my own and lean down. Rubbing my nose to hers I keep singing

"And the seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling for us, days grow longer and nights grow shorter. I can show you I'll be the one." It's then that my baby, my girl, my daughter, my Emi, gives me her first smile.

I lay my forehead on hers, for once in a long time tears of happiness building up.

"I love you, Emi."

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**I love the name Emi, it's been in my head forever. And i did a time skip yes. the next couple of chapters will be similar to this. Momo is going to figure out how to be a mom and come to terms with Emi's beginning.  
Stay tuned! **

**Review please! **


	8. Forced To Face

_**I have no excuse as to why this update was so late, or why it was so short. I just couldn't seem to find a way to start the chapter or have any want to actually write the chapter. I sucked it up though because you all have been so supported and i thank everyone for their reviews. they were so nice and i'm glad you like this story. **_

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"Mama…Mama!" I hear Emi cry from across the room, a part of me wants to go over and pick her up while the larger and stronger part wants to run and never look back. It was happening, the thing I had prayed would never come. I can't stare at her, I can't look at her. This past month the nightmares had returned with a vengeance.

Logically I knew that Emi was a baby and could never physically hurt me that had been my mantra as she grew up. She was a mini me, exactly like me. She had my nose, my mouth, my hair…but she now had his eyes. I never really paid attention to her eye color since the doctor told me it'd take a while for her natural color to appear. Slowly, though, they had been changing shades, from that milky blue color to a light brown, but today was different. Two hours earlier I had looked at her eyes and froze…they were the exact shade of hazel as his. Immediately I was turned off, disgusted, afraid, terrified…of my baby.

It took everything in me not to drop her. I had set her in her play pen with her bottle and ran to my room to my cellphone where I called my mom crying hysterically. She had told me to calm down and take a deep breath, she'd be home soon she said. Well, that was two hours ago and I still hadn't left my room.

Emi cries out to me again, but I'm stuck where I am. I feel so confused with my emotions. I didn't just feel scared in general. I felt scared of my emotions because there was a part of me that was angry…

I was angry at my baby girl because she got her fa- his eyes. That she was now going to be more of a reminder of what happened that night. I knew it was crazy and irrational but I couldn't help myself.

"Mama!" I heard her cry once more. It was loud and she choked on her sobs and I cried along with her. I wanted to be able to go and pick her up, to make her smile and laugh…but I just couldn't.

"I'm so sorry." I cried into my knees. I was clutching my phone willing it to ring with my mom's ringtone.

Eventually Emi stopped calling out to me, she had probably cried herself to sleep by then. My mom had also gotten around to calling me and said she was 45 minutes away; she got stuck in rush hour.

One of the hardest things I had to do was force myself out my room, I couldn't just stay there. When I got to the living room, I went to my tippy toes and looked to see if Emi was really asleep. It was the only way I managed to get so close to her.

I sat in front of her playpen, watching her sleep, watching her small tummy rise up and down with every breath. Holding my breath, as to not wake her, I reached in with a wet cloth and wiped away her dried tear marks.

After that I stayed away from her…I selfishly gave all my responsibilities of being a mother to my own mother. Even with all my battling emotions, the love I felt for my daughter didn't go away. I still worried about her. I missed her, I missed making her laugh, feeding her, bathing her. I missed being her mommy. I had settled for being with her when she was sleep. I'd brush her hair, I'd kiss her rosy cheeks, and I'd whisper I loved her.

That lasted for two weeks.

I was forced to come to face with her eyes when she suddenly woke up from her nap. I assume she was having a bad dream because of her adorably disgruntled facial expression. I had snapped a picture of it and as I saved it onto my phone by the time I looked back at her, she had woken up.

Like last time I froze all movement as hazel eyes stared back at me.

I don't know how long we stared at each other, but then Emi suddenly kicked her legs out and clapped her hands twice before starting to giggle maniacally. It was then that I took the time to steel myself and look into her eyes. To notice how totally, completely and extraordinarily different her eyes were with his. They held no malice, no anger, and no evil. Sure they were hazel, but they had a depth.

As she moved around with her giggles and the light hit her face, her eyes slowly changed to a darker green hazel with their golden flecks more noticeable. Unlike his, hers were beautiful. They were innocent, loving, new, held such happiness.

My heart hurt to hear her giggle with such glee. It made me realize that she missed me too. She wouldn't giggle like this with my mom. For the past two weeks, she would give short giggles, but not any as cheerful and long as these.

It was then that I realized, that while it was going to be hard to look into her eyes at times, my baby girl was nothing like…like her father. And I wasn't going to let his dominant eye color trait keep me away from the only good thing that's happened to me since that night.

"I'm proud of you Momo." My mom told me that night as I put Emi to sleep in her crib.

We moved into the kitchen and I knew she needed to tell me something, so I waited until she told me.

I just don't know if I'm more terrified or sad by what I heard.

"Have you thought about going back to school?"

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**_My early new years resolution is to finish this story or at least get it up to freaking 20 chapters by june of 2013. lol._**

**_Please review. Feel free to leave any comments or thoughts on scenes you'd like Momo and Emi to have. Age appropriate though. Emi is going to be a baby for a while along. _**

**_I'll do better. _**

**_Review:D_**


	9. First Day

_Damn though but really...this is the fastest I've ever updated. And it's a 6 page chapter at that too._

_I spent all day writing this and ta-da! here it is._

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**_One Year Later…_**

"Mommy." I felt a soft chubby hand pat my cheek then I heard a giggle.

"Momma, you gotta wake up!" the high tiny voice of Emi rang out, and I slowly opened my eyes.

"No I don't." I mumbled reaching towards her and pulling her with me as I turned over. She screams laughing at the motion.

"You gotta. School is today!" She tells me, her eyes shining bright and her hair falling out of its pony tail.

"I have to go to school today, you have to stay here with grandma." I tell her sitting up and looking at the clock, internally groaning when I saw that it was barely 5:40. My kid was an early riser.

We both get up and head to the bathroom. I was teaching Emi how to brush her teeth and so far all she's learned is that you're not supposed to eat the candy flavored tooth paste. She got so mad at that. I give her a bath and change her into some thin leggings and a blue skirt with its matching shirt.

"Momma, can I watch Nemo?" Emi says as I pick her up and take her to the living room.

"Sure." I answer and finish brushing her long hair into two long braids. As the previews for Finding Nemo start playing I go to the kitchen and make some chocolate milk and pour it into a sippy cup.

"I'm going to take a shower, okay?" I say as I give her the cup and watch as she begins to chug it down. Chocolate milk is her favorite thing in the world. I, personally, don't care for it, but it makes her happy.

"Call me if you need anything." But the words were lost on her as the movie starts and the fish begin talking.

As soon as I close the door, I finally let myself freak out. After almost two years I was going to go back to school, though it was mostly for my mom's sake than mine. I would have been fine continuing in home studies but my mom was all about me having my childhood, which included graduating from an actual high school.

On that night when mom asked if I thought about going back to school, I immediately said no. I wasn't ready to go back. After many fights, we finally came to a decision. I was to finish my junior year in home studies and then go back to high school for my senior year.

I have been dreading this day all month, I get that school is important but my mom's reasoning to go back is just a load of bull shit in my opinion. I didn't care for the high school experience.

With a sigh, I get my iPod and go to the bathroom and start getting ready for the first day of my senior year. I spend the duration of five songs showering and then get out. I brush my teeth again with, out of a silly whim, Emi's tooth paste…and then I might have swallowed a little afterwards. It just tasted so good!

I dress in shorts that go a little above mid-thigh, a blue camisole with a zipper on the bust and my old black converse. It was going to be a hot day, so I didn't bother getting a sweater…the joys of global warming.

I put on some eye liner and add a new coat of my dark purple nail polish then, because I'm dumb, carefully put on my new pair of panda earrings.

As I look over my outfit in the floor length mirror I put my hands towards the fan to help my nails dry faster then check my backpack to see I had everything I think I would need.

"Mommy." I hear Emi call out from the living room; dropping my backpack carelessly on my bed I go over to her and see that the movie is almost done.

"Yeah?" I ask as I sit next to her. She climbs onto my lap and looks at me with wide eyes.

"If I was taken by the boat, would you come get me?"

I laugh and hug her close to me, "Emi, I would swim the entire ocean to find you."

"Good." She tells me and then wiggles away.

I watch her for a few moments then go back to my room to finish getting ready.

As I contemplate how to do my hair for the day, I hear my mom in the kitchen and start to smell the workings of French toast. I decided to loosely curl the tips of my hair and pull the upper half back, clipping it with a black bow.

Disconnecting my iPhone, my mom's gift to me from last Christmas, I put its case back on, which happened to be Finding Nemo related. I bought it last month on Emi and I's day out to the mall. She fell completely in love with it. Some kids like playing with cellphones and touching shit, but all Emi does is look at the case. She is so weird.

I rub some of my new Love Spell lotion on my arms and legs then spritz on some of its matching body spray.

I'm about to leave my room when I remember to put on my necklace. I open up my jewelry box and pull out the heart locket my mom bought a while ago. Opening the locket I see the tiny picture of Emi and my mom on one side and Emi and me on the other and it makes me smile.

I put it on as I walk out of my room and head towards the kitchen.

"Hey mom." I say walking up to her and kissing her cheek. On the counter I see a plate of French toast, sausage links, and bacon with a side of fresh fruit.

Like a starving animal I go at the plate and finish it within minutes. Ever since I had Emi my appetite had never really returned to normal. Mom says I eat like a dude now.

A lot of things had changed since Emi actually; the most noticeable was my body. My boobs got bigger during the pregnancy and they just stayed…big. My hips were wider and I wasn't so gangly anymore. I, Momo 'the stick' Hinamori, actually had curves.

I never noticed this until mid-last year when I started to realize that guys were staring at me because of this. And it made me feel uncomfortable at first. I wasn't…traumatized by men; I could still talk to them and stuff when I was out at the mall or anywhere really. But when they noticed me in _that_ way, when they had _that_ look on their face, which made it obvious they found me to their liking? My entire body got clammy, my heart started to race and the urge to cry just got out of control.

But I was determined not to let the past control me. I didn't purposely dress nor do anything to attract attention, and I reasoned with myself that they could look all they wanted but if they ever made a move then I'll let myself break down. Until then I had to be strong.

"Are you okay?" Mom asks me, bringing me out of my thoughts and I automatically smile, not wanting her to guess my thoughts.

"I'm fine, I'm thinking about school."

She seemed to believe it because she dropped it and moved on to something else. I washed my plate as she talks about her day planned with Emi. And that reminded me of this Saturday.

"Are we still on for Saturday? We need to go soon if we plan to go to every daycare." Yes, daycare, possibly one of the saddest things ever to mothers all over the world. Mom got a new job and she was starting soon.

She nods and we talk for a little while longer as I call Emi over and feed her some banana pieces.

When it's 7:35 I drop to my knees in front of Emi.

"I have to go now, okay? You be good for Grandma." And one of the worst things I have ever seen started happening.

"I don't want you to go." She cries and she wraps her tiny arms around my neck.

"Oh sweetie, I have too. Its school today, remember?" I say softly rubbing her back. I hated when Emi cried. It was so horrible.

"But I'll miss you!" Her arms squeeze harder and I feel my own tears coming.

"I know, I'll miss you so much too." I tell her and gently pull her away.

"But you'll be with me." I say as I show her my necklace and what was inside it. Her curious nature causes her tears to stop and she holds it with both hands.

"But what will I have?"

I pick her up and take her to my room, "You have this whole room, Emi. We'll always be together. I won't be gone for a long time."

As she starts crying again, I realize that she wasn't just crying because I was leaving, she was crying because she's been awake since before 5:40.

I set her down on my bed and ran to the kitchen and quickly made her another sippy cup of chocolate milk. I ignore my mom's chuckling as I walk back to my room.

I hold Emi, gently rocking her back and forth as she drinks her sippy cup. It's moments like these that remind me of when she was smaller.

She has most of my looks but the one thing she definitely has is my tenacity, since she's half asleep but still fighting to talk.

I place her on my bed and brush her bangs away.

"Momma." She breathes out, her eyes closing.

"Yes?" I say whispering so she doesn't wake up completely.

"You'll be back?"

"Always." I lean forward and kiss her forehead and wait for her to fall asleep.

I give her my stuffed plush toy to cuddle with and as I walk out leave the door partially open.

"You handled that very well." Mom tells me from the front door, holding my backpack.

"I hate seeing her cry." I tell her going towards her and getting my backpack.

"I'm pretty sure everyone hates seeing their babies cry."

"Yeah I kno- Mom…" I say and then stop as I look up from the ground and see what was in the drive way.

"Is tha…wha…" I'm speechless and try not to get my hopes up as I see a brand new gray Honda civic.

"Happy first day of high school!" mom yells and hugs me and I laugh still in shock.

"It's mine?" I ask going to my supposedly new car and touch its hood to make sure it was really there.

"Yeah, I've been saving up for a while now." Mom explains coming towards me and I almost tackled her into another hug.

"Mom, you should have bought this for yourself. I would have been fine with a hand-me-down." I tell her as we rock side to side.

"I know, but I wanted to get you something special. You have been so tough Momo, I'm so proud of you for everything you've done. When I was your age…I don't think I could have gone through everything you have."

"Thank you." I say my voice cracking and I hug her once more.

"Be careful." She tells me and hands over the keys. I give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her I'll call during lunch.

I spend a good five minutes just sitting in my new car smiling like an idiot before I actually start it up and drive to school.

It's barely 8:20 when I get to school, so the parking lot is practically empty. Everything looks the same, but then again do schools ever really change?

I get out of my car, damn I love saying that, and head to the main office where I get my schedule and try to memorize it.

**1. AP English Literature.**

**2. AP Art History**

**3. Economics/ AP Microeconomics**

**4. Government**

**Lunch**

**5. AP Biology**

**6. Ceramics**

**7. Journalism**

Yeah…because I'm a cocky kid and think that I can handle raising a two year old while taking four AP classes.

The secretary asks me if everything on my schedule is alright and I nod my head, taking the map she was offering me and slowly walking out of the building.

I'm scanning the map to find all of my classes and trying to figure out possible routes to take when I hear a male voice say.

"No way…is that really you?"

I look up and my mouth drops open…

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_Who could it be!? lol_

_Momo's outfit can be found on Polyvore. i'll post the link on my page_

_Did you like the chapter? hate it? Do you like Emi so far? _

_Review yeah?_


	10. Didn't Care

**Hey, Enjoy!**

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_I'm scanning the map to find all of my classes and trying to figure out possible routes to take when I hear a male voice say._

"_No way…is that really you?" _

_I look up and my mouth drops open… _

"Renji!" I yell with a smile breaking out on my face as I run towards him and jump him.

His arms come around to keep me up and I hear him laughing.

"Hold up, hold up. Hold the fuck up." He says as he pulls me out of my bear hug.

He sets me down on the floor and I'm just looking at him. I missed looking at his face.

"There is no way in hell that you are Momo." Renji puts his hands on my shoulders and starts turning me in circles.

"Yeah, there is no way in hell that you could be one of my best friends named Momo. You are too hot to be that loser."

I pull away and punch his arm, "Don't be a jerk!"

"Ahh, so it is you! Well fuck. What happened to you?" the snarky teen in me thought _I got knocked up_ but I just shrugged and blamed it on puberty.

"In all seriousness, you look good kid." He says and puts his arms around my shoulders and we begin walking to the front of the school to wait for everyone else.

As the time for them to arrive got closer the more anxious I got. Renji eventually starts tugging my arm to keep me from jumping up and down.

At 8:55 I see Rukia's unmistakable car…you can't miss a car that has bunny stickers all over it.

"Chill, girl. Damn." Renji laughs as I squeal. I couldn't help it, I missed my best friend. She and I had gotten close these past two years, she knows everything and she was Emi's unofficial aunt. She left to go to her grandmothers after the first month of summer so I haven't seen her since

"How was your break?" I hear the red head ask me as he finally lets me walk over to Rukia. I would have run but he was being a jerk and holding on to my shoulder.

"It was fine. I went over to my cousin's house a few towns over. We had a lot of fun." I say being vague. I hated that I needed to start lying so soon, but it was necessary.

We finally get to Rukia and I find out that Ichigo was also with her. He welcomes me back with a big hug.

All too soon bell rings and I make my way through the crowd to my first period, smiling and saying hello to those who remembered me.

A majority of my teachers were those from my sophomore year, which I was extremely happy about.

There is no way to forgot how boring school gets, even when I've been gone for a year. It was downright mind-numbing in class because of the new class/ new people vibe being at the forefront of everyone's mind.

"Hi mom." I say when she answers her phone. Lunch started five minutes ago and I was munching on some apple slices. Renji, Ichigo and Rukia all went to go buy lunch, and I asked them to bring me something.

"Hi honey how's everything going?"

"Fine, I have familiar teachers." I say looking around casually before saying, "How's Emi?"

Mom chuckles and tells me that she woke up about two hours after I left and then proceeded to ask if I was coming home yet every fifteen minutes.

"Hey baby." I tell Emi as she gets onto the phone.

"Momma! Are you coming home now?" she asks and I can just imagine the way she'd be tilting her head to the side.

Laughing I answer, "No not yet, I still have to learn more stuff. Are you going to help me with my homework when I get home?"

"Yeah!" she screams into the phone then she suddenly quiets down and whispers "Mommy, granny doesn't make good chocolate milk."

"I heard that!" I hear in the background and then Emi is laughing and I hear her breathes start to pant a little.

"Mommy! Granny wants to eat me! Tell her not to eat me!"

And for another eight minutes I'm put on speaker phone trying to convince my mom not to eat my baby girl.

I sadly tell Emi that I need to go when I see the red head come back with the other two in tow.

"Bye momma. I love you." Emi whispers and my eyes start to water a little bit.

"I know sweetie, I love you too. So much. I'll be home soon, okay?" I whisper back and I count out loud to three and we both hang up.

The rest of the lunch my heavy heart is lifted by my friends, who continuously ask me how I managed to live without them thus far.

"Are you crazy?" Rukia yells at me when she sees my schedule on our way to 5th period.

"Are trying to damage your GPA before the first week ends?" She punches my shoulder and I laugh her off, though on the inside I was trying to figure out just how many hours I'd need to spend on each subject. I already had about four to five hours' worth of homework with my three AP classes. Now I was on to my fourth which I wasn't too excited about.

AP biology is the same thing as honors bio, which I took freshman year, we just ended up learning half of the first chapter in the class period and we were expected to finish the rest at home. Queue long groan that transitions into a sigh.

"So can I come over today?" Rukia asks as she latches on to my arm and we walk to 6th

"Yeah, can you entertain Emi while I do some homework?" I say with my voice low.

"Absolutely, if I wasn't your best friend, I'd probably kid-knap her… just saying." I look at her doubtfully knowing that even though we're best friends, she'd totally snatch my kid. Emi rocked, simple as that.

"Just kidding! Go mold stuff!" She laughs at me and then pushes me into my next class.

But I bump into someone on my way in

"Oh, I'm sorry." I say chuckling as I turn my head back towards the door. I intended to give Rukia a salute from my special finger when I noticed two things. One: Rukia was still there outside, but she wasn't looking at me and two: the air around me was slowly engulfing me and infiltrating my system with the most familiar scent in the world to me. Aside from a freshly washed Emi, that is.

"It's all cool." Toshiro says with a blank look on his face and keeps on walking around me. And my mouth drops open in shock.

The egotistical chick in me was pretty damn surprised that that was how our first meeting happened.

He didn't even spare me a final glance.

He didn't even care.

Irrationally my eyes water with hurt and grit my teeth, giving Rukia a final wave and going to the first open desk I find.

* * *

**So, any mistakes, my fault. i'll edit it later and fix any mistake then .**

**How'd you like it?**

**Next chapter in early January unless i go author-mode crazy and pop one out during the week :D**


	11. Best Friends

**Mistakes are mine. **

* * *

Sixth period ended in a breeze and with a final reminder to bring our payment fee by Friday, the teacher lets us loose. Rukia is waiting outside for me and she literally pounces on me.

"Are you okay?" she asks as we walk to our only class together: journalism.

"I'm pretty sure I got high off of that clay" I say paying attention to in front of me rather than her face, which I was positive, would be anything but happy by my response.

"Ow!"I yelp and jump effectively elbowing some freshman, and all thanks to her pinching my side. "Sorry." I mumble to the poor innocent victim as I walk past.

"Seriously?" Rukia says her voice in that 'don't bullshit me right now' tone

"Seriously." I reply as we walk inside class and sit down.

"Fine." She scoffs at me and sits away from me. I sigh and take a deep breath as the bell rings.

Journalism is weird, but I figured it would be an easy A; writing was has never been a hard thing for me. Mr. Whyte assigned page six editors, and making the rest of the class staff writers.

After that he and the chief editor, took the newly appointed editors to the backroom and uses the rest of the class period to teach them how to use the appropriate software for editing their corresponding page.

What did I do for the rest of those 55 minutes? Nothing, considering Rukia would even look at me. Bitch…but I still loved her.

"The bell is going to ring in about forty seconds, tonight's homework is to write an opinions article -with no less than 300 words- and send it in by 10:30." As soon as he finishes talking, the bell rings and I pulled out my phone to take a picture of the email he had written up on the whiteboard.

"The door will be unlocked." I said to Rukia as I walked by her seat on my way out. Yeah she was mad at me, but I was her best friend and she wanted to see Emi more than she was mad at me. She would come.

"Whore." She says as she swings her messenger bag over her shoulder and walks with me. The simple fact that she insulted me told me that she was already half way over her annoyance with me.

We're quiet as we walk to our cars, mostly because she took my phone and started looking at my pictures. She was currently sending herself any new cute photos that I had of Emi; which was probably over forty pictures. My kid was photogenic; thank the lord for 32 GB iPhones.

We arrived to Rukia's car first and as she climbed in the divers side, my attention was pulled away from her "Emi is so cute" babble as a loud laugh/shriek was sounded out.

I look towards the end of the parking lot and see Toshio laughing as some ginger with big tits angrily get into his car, slamming the door shut.

He doesn't even look annoyed by that fact.

That immature brat in me strikes again; wanting to know who the hell she was to him because she wasn't someone I recognized. If I did that he would have been annoyed for sure. Boys and their stupid love for cars, I swear.

"Who is that?" I mutter to Rukia, not taking my eyes of them.

"Who…oh, that's Rangiku Matsumoto. She's in our grade; she arrived pretty much when you left."

"That's…nice." I turn them away from them and face my best friend. "I'll see you in a little bit" I say and then groan out loud, scaring Rukia.

"What's wrong?"

I roll my eyes, and tell her where I park my car. Her only reply as she starts her car is a snort.

Bitch.

She peels out of the parking lot and not even a minute later I receive a message: The door will be unlocked.

So she receives one as well: Bitch

Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders and start walking towards my car and unwantedly towards Toshiro.

But thank whatever God was looking down on me because he and the ginger are already in the car when I'm walking by. I make myself look busy though and unlock my phone to bring up a new text message: LOL TTYL BRO.

I save it to drafts and slid my phone into my butt pocket and make my way home.

As soon as I walk into my home, I run towards my baby and keep her in my arms for at least five minutes. I don't even realize I'm crying until Rukia asks me if I have dust in my eye and I excuse myself to the bathroom.

"What's wrong with mommy?" I hear Emi say to someone. "Does she have a boo, boo?"

"Are you okay?" Rukia shows up at the door way.

"I don't know." I answer truthfully and clutch her tightly once she pulls me into a hug. She shushes me and I know I have to keep quiet. I didn't want Emi to see or hear me like this. My emotions where just everywhere right now. My period was probably going to start soon. _Oh, joy. _

I'm sitting on the edge of the tub with one of Emi's bath toys in my hands as both Rukia and I are quiet. She's waiting me out.

"I missed her a lot today…" I begin to say and pause when Mom enters the already tight space.

"She's taking her second nap." She whispers and motions for me to scoot over.

As she rubs my back soothingly I continue, "I guess I just didn't expect for how much I was going to miss her. I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. I really don't."

I clench my eyes shut and pull my loose hair off to one shoulder, hating how a tiny part of me was saying this due to Toshiro and the ginger. Rukia sees through my bullshit though, making me both love her and curse her out. She was my best friend now, after all.

"You can't be serious, Momo. Fuck them! You aren't going to run away because you saw something that hurt you. You're so much stronger than that."

Mom looks absolutely confused but says nothing, instead just opting to listen and watch.

"Okay?" Rukia says angrily, her face pink with anger.

Wiping the last of my tears, I nod and stand up.

"Thank you, best friend."

"You're welcome." Her tone softens, "You schedule doesn't cross with his until 6th period. We'll just walk slowly to class from now on. You don't even have to worry about her and just park your car next to mine tomorrow."

I nod once more and we leave it at that, putting this incident behind us and doing our homework as we wait for my girl to wake up. I finish most of my basic homework and multitask on the AP classes. It made things easier knowing that most of the given AP assignments weren't going to be due until Friday.

"I'll text you in the morning when I'm in the parking lot; I'll save you a space." Rukia tells me as she passes me a nearly pasted out Emi. She always tended to be super tired after Rukia came to visit; which made sense considering they both had the same endurance for playing.

I watch from the doorway as she walks to her car and without thinking, but needing to know the answer I blurt out:

"Are they dating?"

She hesitates and when she finally answers, I squeeze Emi tighter, breathing in her baby scent to calm down.

Later that night, when I'm finished with all my homework and Emi's been put to bed, I process what Rukia said.

I don't know if her confirming that they were dating would have hurt more than when she told me that they were actually just best friends.

"No, but they are best friends."

_You'll always be my best friend, Momo. Nothing can change that. _It's a distant and locked away memory now, his voice in my head is almost a whisper and that just adds to the already stinging blow.

Could this week be over already? Or can my period at least hurry up and come? Being this emotional is ridiculous.

* * *

**Someone mentioned how well developed Emi's talking skills were for her age and i think it's normal. Some babies develop faster than others and that's our case for Emi. I'll try to baby it up some more if it truly bothers some of you :)  
**

**Short, but it got the job done. **

**Review please. **


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